Building The Bridge I Wish Someone Had Built for Me

10 leadership lessons I learned the hard way (so you don't have to)

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"Mentorship is only valuable if you apply what you learn and then pass it on to others." - John Maxwell

I spent the first half of my career waiting for someone to explain the rules to me.

Waiting for a mentor to materialize. Waiting for that wise leader who would decode corporate politics and hand me the secret playbook. Like many, I believed someone else held the keys to my success.

The waiting nearly killed the impact I was meant to have on the world.

Peers got promoted. My career flatlined. Instead of looking inward, I chose the victim's path: "It's not fair." Stuck in my frustration. Stuck in place.

Then 2018 changed everything. Brain surgery wasn't in my plan. Recovery gave me months to think about the false belief I'd carried—that someone else held the keys to my future. That mentors magically appeared to tell you the path to take instead of taking ownership of my own growth. I realized something profound: No one was coming to save me.

In those most difficult months, I made a promise to myself: if I got a second chance, I wouldn't hoard what I learned. I'd find people like you—ambitious, searching, maybe a little lost—and become the mentor to them that I desperately needed.

Building the Bridge

I took responsibility for my own mentorship. I read books and consumed podcasts. I got certified as a coach with Maxwell Leadership. I embraced John's wisdom about "bridge building"—not just receiving mentorship but becoming someone who adds value to others every day.

The pain of waiting, the frustration of feeling overlooked, the lessons I learned from 30 years—all of it has prepared me for this time to build the bridge I wish someone had built for me.

Who This Is For

Are you a brand-new employee wondering why college didn't prepare you for a career? A mid-career professional watching others advance while you feel stuck? Leading people but making it up as you go?

Here's what connects us: We've been waiting for someone else to give us the rules when the answers actually live inside us. Personal growth isn't something that happens to you—it's something that you actively choose to pursue.

But here's the biggest lesson I’ve learned: outward success without purpose means nothing. The promotion you're chasing, the title you want, the respect you crave—none of it matters if you aren’t pursuing something bigger than your own comfort.

What's Coming

Over the next five weeks, I'll share 10 leadership lessons that I have learned over three decades. Not theories. But insights I’ve personally experienced through mistakes made, lessons learned, difficult conversations, and reflections on what went wrong and right.

We'll explore these topics:

• Own Your Story: Taking responsibility for your career and your life

• Serve Without Keeping Score: How to grow by serving others

• Embrace Who You Are: Growing through failure and setting aside comparison

• Build Before You Lead: Mastering individual contribution first

• The Secret: How being comfortable in your own skin changes everything

These lessons apply whether you're 22 or 62. Whether you manage people or just want to manage your own life better. Leadership isn't about your title. It's about your influence. Influence begins with the single most challenging task: leading yourself.

Building the bridge

What will be most important to you on your last day? For me, it’s my relationship with God, my family, and the impact I’ve had on other people.

That’s the reason why I’m writing this series. My hope is that every lesson I share will help you avoid mistakes I’ve made so you can be a bridge for someone else.

Your career, your life, your impact on the world—they're waiting for you to stop expecting someone else to hand you the plans. The most profound truth I've learned? You already have everything you need. The answers are inside of you. Over the next 5 weeks, let’s build a bridge to a life you want.

You were meant to do something great with your life. Let’s get started!

Next week: "Own Your Story." Because until you take full responsibility for your career and, more importantly, your life, you will be stuck in place.

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