I've been an Avett Brothers fan for at least a decade. When I first heard "Head Full of Doubt/Road Full of Promise," I was struck by these lyrics:
"When nothing is owed or deserved or expected
And your life doesn't change by the man that's elected
If you're loved by someone, you're never rejected
Decide what to be and go be it."
Decide what to be and go be it? How many of us actually do that? I sure didn't. You see, I'm a recovering rule follower. I got decent grades in school. I went to work and tried my best every day so I'd get promoted and one day be happy with my life. By most measuring sticks, I've had a healthy amount of success. However, happiness and contentment were missing. Why is that the case?
Because I put my dreams in the hands of others.
I never knew what it meant to have dreams of my own. I remained stuck and let past failures linger in my brain on a never-ending repeat loop.
I thought that achieving a level of money/power/position was the ticket to happiness. There's nothing wrong with those things in and of themselves. However, when you attach your personal identity to them, you can lose yourself in the process. I'm a slow learner. Over the past few years, I've become intentional about practicing habits that make me better. I'm learning to detach my personal identity from the outcomes of my work. It's been a long road, but I'm finally learning to own my dreams.
Thanks to those of you that have read this far. Hopefully, this will resonate with some of you. I leave you with this thought: the world needs the REAL you - not the person you think others want you to be. You were meant for much more than you're allowing yourself to be. Here's to dreaming big! Let’s talk again next week.
This first blog post is dedicated to my beautiful mother, Karen Taha, who passed away in 2017. She was a children's book author and dearly loved by her family and friends. She taught me to love reading, how to write (she would not be an AI fan!), and most importantly, how to love people well. I miss her every day.
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It took me SO LONG to learn this lesson! I played by the rules big time (except during my "hippie" years. I felt more certain and that felt safe (but oh...the cognitive dissonance!). Then, finally, in my early fifties, I became the person I might have been (to paraphrase George Eliot). I went back to school for seven years and got my dream career. Then I got somewhat sidelined due to reoccuring brain tumors but I pivoted again and now work as an artist and a fabric designer (self employed) plus I continue to see clients online. I say all this not to brag but to help others to see it can be done. We can go after our dreams at any age (I'm 73).
This is such a beautiful post Tarek. Powerful life lessons you've learned; thank you for sharing. Your mom would be so proud of you.