Fake It Until you Make It Is Wrong

Why taking action will drive your belief in what's possible

Listen here.

"The expert in anything was once a beginner." — Helen Hayes

I had a check-in with a young team member last week. I will call her Taylor because she is a Swiftie. “Tarek, I did have a question for you," she said. "I have these ideas in meetings, but I just... I can't seem to speak up. Everyone else sounds so confident."

I knew exactly what she meant.

"You know what?" I told her. "I used to believe in 'fake it till you make it.' I don’t buy it anymore. Now I think you should do it until you believe it."

For years, I sat silent in meetings, convinced I needed to know everything before I had the right to speak. I'd watch colleagues share half-baked thoughts while I crafted perfect responses in my head, usually after the meeting was over.

The fear was a common one: looking unprepared. Looking stupid. Looking like I didn't belong. Looking like a poser. So I'd tell myself I needed more data or more experience before I could speak up.

Always more.

I thought it kept me safe from judgment, but it also kept me safe from living out my potential.

Does any of this sound familiar? Maybe for you, it's not speaking up in meetings. Perhaps it's starting that side project, having difficult conversations, or sharing your creative work. We all have something we desperately want to try but haven't because it feels too far outside of the framework we’ve constructed for our lives.

Here's the truth no one tells you: You will never feel ready.

I spent years of my life waiting for a magical moment when confidence would suddenly descend upon me. The point at which I'd finally know enough to earn my seat at the table. That moment never came because it doesn't exist.

Here’s the truth. The fear of looking stupid is based on a lie. The lie that everyone else had it figured out. The lie that competence means never stumbling over words or asking clarifying questions.

I had to develop the courage to speak up without having all the answers. I had to trust my ability to think on my feet, to say "I don't know" when I didn't, and to contribute my perspective even when it wasn't polished.

I can’t remember when the breakthrough finally happened. It may have been around the time that I read the book Atomic Habits. The idea that we can become who we are meant to be by taking small actions resonated with me. So…I raised my hand. I just started speaking up in meetings and in life. I stopped waiting for permission. I began to develop confidence in my own voice.

So why don’t I believe in faking it? If I’m faking it, I don’t really think my transformation into who I want to be is possible. “Do it until you believe it" is far better. This means taking action before your feelings catch up with you. Letting your behavior drive the beliefs you want instead of the opposite. Look, you're still going to feel scared. The goal isn't to eliminate that feeling - it's to act anyway.

The same day I had that conversation with Taylor, I spoke up in a meeting of about 100 people and asked questions of one of the presenters who discussed his AI project. Could I go toe to toe with him from a technical perspective? Nope. Taylor sent me a note after the meeting and said, “I noticed you were speaking up!” I’m so glad she noticed. I can’t wait to watch her transform.

The question isn't whether you're ready. The question is: Will you do it until you believe it? One day, you'll look back and realize you've become the person you never thought you would be.

Do it until you believe it!

When you subscribe to The Authentic Path, you are joining a community of people who want to live true to who they are, not who someone else tells them to be. Join us!