Don't Look Back in Anger
What double standards are you holding on to?
Listen here.
"Sometimes it takes someone else to show us what we're unable to see in ourselves." - Emma Thompson
The moment is etched in my memory. About a month ago, I was rushing out of the office, already late for lunch with my dad, my mind racing through the afternoon's agenda of everything I needed to get done. I was blasted by cold wind and rain as I tried to cross the street toward my car.
As I approached the road, an old panel van blew by me, blocking my path. I was not happy! I threw up my hands. Didn’t the driver see it was rainy, cold, and I had somewhere to be? How rude. As I stood there staring the van down, the driver stopped. I thought, does this dude want to fight me? Nope. He did, however, roll down his window, point down, and say one word: “crosswalk.” What’s he talking about? he almost ran me over! But there he was. He was right in the middle of the crosswalk, a few feet away from me. As I tried to think of something to say, only one thing came to me.
He was right.
There was a perfectly good crosswalk that allowed walkers to cross the road safely. I had completely ignored it.
I was wrong.
I was so in my little world and looking for reasons to be frustrated that I didn’t pay attention. So what’s the lesson here? My agenda is not more important than someone else’s. I was cutting corners so I could take care of myself. The guy wasn’t even rude. He was holding me accountable, and I needed it.
This may seem like a small thing to you. But it did cause me to notice other areas of my life where I expected exceptions for myself while demanding perfection from others.
Since that day, I have always made it a point to take that crosswalk. It’s amazing! Most cars stop. Some drivers even give me a friendly wave. My blood pressure doesn’t go up. Also, I am more aware of opportunities to call out when I am wrong and can learn from others. Will I mess up again? Without a doubt.
I'm sharing this story because we all have double standards. We give ourselves a pass while demanding perfection from others. I need to extend my grace when these moments arise, but I also learn from them. What double standard have you been quietly maintaining in your life? Today is the perfect day to notice it, let it go, and treat others with the kindness, patience, and understanding that you would want for yourself.
Tarek...this reminds me of something. I often hear people say, "there's too much traffic! There's too many people here!" I always think, "But we're one of the people!" It's such a weird way we have of being in our own little worlds. Good words, Tarek!
thanks for sharing! great point and reminder for me to consider others. my priorities are my priorities