Feeling Alive is an Inside Job
Focusing on your death can change your life
“One truth about us is that we forget we are going to die.
The other truth is that we forget we are alive.”
-John Ortberg
When I read this quote, it hit me between the eyes. Have you, like me, sometimes forgotten that you are alive right now? When we are young, we push the thought of death out of our heads because all we’ve been working for is in front of us. Forgetting you are alive could look like this:
Wasting mental energy on fake drama from last night’s episode of “The Bachelor”
Worrying about a text you just sent when you see the 3 dots flashing for several minutes with no reply
Losing sleep by ruminating about how someone treated you poorly
Letting other's expectations set standards for your life instead of owning them for yourself
Prioritizing that work project instead of connecting with the people that matter most to you
How many days have you sleepwalked through without stopping to ask the question WHY? Do you even realize that you’ve lost your way? There are many ways to distract ourselves from asking the big questions in life. However, I believe there will always be that nagging sensation that we could do more and ultimately be the person God made us to be. Yet it’s just easier to ignore it. Even when we try to push it out of our heads, we ask, “Why does any of this matter?”
I have a fundamental question for you, would it make your life better if you focused on the fact that you will one day die? No one wants to think about dying. It’s morbid. But what if it made you better? My near-death experience in 2018 started me on this journey.1 What if thinking about dying gave you a reason and purpose to get up each day? In his excellent book “The Second Mountain,"2 David Brooks said:
“We think we want ease and comfort, and of course we do from time to time, but there is something inside us that longs for some calling that requires dedication and sacrifice.”
Do you hear that small voice inside that tells you there is more to your existence? That you were made for more? It’s a longing that can’t be filled by distraction or achievement. The longer we live, those pats on the back from others are fewer and farther between. Not only that, the good feelings from them don’t last. You get the promotion you’ve been sacrificing for and wonder, is this all there is?
So what is it that we really want? I believe it’s encapsulated in one word. That word is SIGNIFICANCE.
We want our lives to matter. We want people to remember us. We want to live a life that leaves a legacy through our kids, friends, and loved ones. We want to be connected to a purpose that’s larger than ourselves. Author Ben Arment captured this sentiment well when he said:
We are motivated by two conflicting fears in life—the fear of failure and the fear of insignificance. What we endeavor to do in life is determined by which fear is the strongest.
What would it feel for you to overcome sometimes crippling fear by pursuing significance? What would remembering to be alive look like for you today? The first thing you must do is have a conversation with yourself. Ask the hard questions. Pull out a blank piece of paper and consider where you are. A key concept to remember: No one is grading your journaling! It’s for you to get out of your own head. There are no rules. I love how Matthew McConaughey describes journaling in this 1-minute video:
What are the things that occupy your thoughts? Journaling can begin to help you connect your thoughts to a bigger purpose. Could it be investing more in the relationships that mean the most? Is it volunteering for the non-profit NOW instead of waiting until your kids are out of the house (or including them in it)? Is it pursuing that passion on the side that lights you up when you talk about it?
What will make you feel alive? Simply pausing to ask the question has power. I don’t know what it is for you. No one can do it for you or give you the desire to pursue it. What would it mean for you to wake up and feel alive? Get curious. Pursue significance. Don’t give up until you find it.
Invest in yourself and your loved ones this week. May you look back and realize this is when you turned the corner. Make it a significant week!
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This was powerful!!!
Ironically, thinking of death helps you be more present. It makes you realize how precious each moment is. Be in the here now because this could be the last time you pick up your grandson or kiss your spouse on the cheek. Death is my advisor that helps me remember what's important, that one day I will die.