From Sweaty Palms to Authentic Confidence

A simple shift that turns interview nerves into your advantage

Listen here.

Confession time: I got to an office building 30 minutes before my interview, trying to talk myself out of going inside. My palms were sweaty, and the same thought was on repeat: "They're going to figure out I'm not good enough for this job."

I'd been stuck in a role for years that didn't fill my tank. Zero feedback on my performance. No growth, no challenges that made me better. I knew I needed something new, but my confidence was less than zero. Walking into that interview felt like signing up for public humiliation.

Here's what's crazy about that season: I ended up getting offers from two different companies. Two.

I've been thinking about this lately because a friend texted me last week about how one of my posts helped him with his own interview nerves. He said accepting whatever outcome might happen actually calmed him down and helped him perform better.

That's the thing about embarrassment. We often get it backwards. We think avoiding it protects us, but it actually makes us worse at everything.

"You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think," Winnie-the-Pooh author A.A. Milne said. But we rarely feel that way when walking into situations where we don’t think we measure up.

The fear of looking foolish creates a weird mental loop. You spend so much energy protecting yourself from embarrassment that you can't access the competence you possess. It's like trying to have a conversation while also monitoring every word to make sure you don't sound stupid. I’ve done this more times than I can count.

It’s exhausting.

But here's what I learned from those interviews (and what my friend discovered): when you accept that you might embarrass yourself, something shifts. You stop performing for the mean judge in your head and start showing up as yourself. Turns out, that version of you is pretty darn capable.

I wasn't suddenly more qualified sitting in that interview chair. I had the same resume, same experience, the same haircut, and the same tendency to overthink my answers. But I'd gotten tired of letting fear make my decisions. I decided I'd rather risk looking foolish than stay stuck.

The interviewers didn't see someone perfect. They saw someone honest about what he knew and didn't know. Someone who asked good questions because he was prepared and genuinely curious, not just trying to impress. Someone who could admit when he'd made mistakes and explain what he'd learned.

Most hiring managers have sat through enough interviews to spot someone who's pretending (Please don’t say your biggest fault is that you work too much!).

This applies way beyond job interviews. It's the same whether you're giving a presentation, going on a first date, or starting a conversation with someone you admire. The moment you accept that things might go sideways, you free up all that mental energy for actually engaging with what's in front of you.

Your brain stops running two programs at once. Instead of thinking "Don't screw this up!" while also trying to answer their questions thoughtfully, you can just focus on the conversation. That's when the real you actually shows up.

If you have interviews coming up (or any situation where you're worried about measuring up), try this simple P.A.C. framework I've developed.

It stands for Prepare, Accept, Connect:

Prepare

Do your homework. Research the company, practice common questions, and know your own story. But don't over-prepare to the point where you're memorizing scripts and talking like a ChatGPT robot.

Accept

Make peace with the possibility that this might not go perfectly. You might stumble over an answer. They might ask something you've never thought about. You could walk out knowing you didn't get the job. That's not failure, that's just what happens when humans interact with other humans.

Connect

Focus on having a real conversation instead of delivering a performance. Ask questions you're actually curious about. Share examples that matter to you, not just the ones you think they want to hear. Let them see who you are, not who you think they want you to be.

The goal isn't to eliminate nerves (impossible) or guarantee success (also impossible). The goal is to show up authentically so that whatever happens feels honest. If they hire you, they're hiring the real you, which means you can actually do the job as yourself. If they don't, you haven't wasted anyone's time pretending to be someone else. Remember, you're also interviewing them to see if this is a place you'd like to work.

You're more capable than you think. The person sitting across from you knows what it's like to feel nervous and unprepared. Most of them remember their own embarrassing interview moments. They're not looking for perfection. They're looking for someone they want to work with.

Stop auditioning for a role you may not want. The right opportunity will recognize who you actually are.

Go be THAT person. Go make a difference this week!