I Have No Idea What I'm Doing

And why that might be a great sign you're going in the right direction

Listen here.

I hung up the Zoom call and just sat there.

It was my first real conversation with a potential coaching client. I walked him through the program, laid out how I thought it could help him reach his goals, and he said what most reasonable people say: “Let me talk to my wife and get back to you.”

Totally fair. I would have said the exact same thing.

But the voice in my head didn’t care about that. It went straight to: Tarek, you missed something. You screwed it up. You should have framed it differently. I replayed the whole conversation over and over, looking for every part I got wrong.

Here’s the truth: two months ago, I walked away from a 30-year corporate career. My choice. I took an early buyout because I wanted to build something of my own, a leadership coaching practice built around helping people discover and live out their purpose. I believed in it enough to leave behind a dependable paycheck.

What I didn’t expect was how fast I’d feel like a complete amateur.

And I mean that in the most specific way. In my old world, I knew the game. I knew what success looked like. I knew how to read the politics of a situation, navigate the room, and perform to expectations. After three decades, there were few surprises.

Now? I’m evaluating every Zoom call like game film after a loss.

The irony is not lost on me. I spend my time helping others get clarity on their purpose and moving toward it with confidence. And after that call, my own confidence was close to zero. Not because I don’t believe I can help that person. I know I can.

It’s the uncomfortable feeling of jumping off a perfectly good boat into deep waters.

A few days ago, I hit a wall and knew something had to change. Productivity was low, my head was foggy, and grinding through it wasn’t working. So I stopped. I did a 45-minute Peloton ride (longer than my usual 30), lifted some weights, and then drove over to have lunch with my dad.

My dad is 88 (he keeps rounding up to 89 even though I tell him not to!). Every Wednesday, he makes us a great lunch. We ate, talked, and went for a walk together. It was 70 degrees and sunny, and for a couple of hours, I wasn’t thinking about my new business. I was just grateful to be with my dad.

And that’s when I realized the fog had lifted.

So what’s my point?

When you feel out of sorts, don’t just grind harder. Change something. Get out of the house. Go to a coffee shop, put on some headphones, and work from somewhere new. Encourage someone you care about. Take the longer ride. Go see your dad.

Clear the fog first. Then get back to work.

Bronnie Ware is a palliative care nurse who spent years with patients in their final weeks of life. She documented the most common regrets people shared before they died. The number one regret?

“I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.”

Not “I wish I’d worked more.” Not “I wish I’d played it safer.”

They wished they’d been brave enough to try.

I have a friend who is learning Spanish. Mandy and her family travel to Peru regularly to serve at the Esperanza School, which serves children and families in crisis. She decided that “Spanglish” wasn’t enough, as she wants to connect deeply with the people they serve. So now she’s taking classes with a real professor, with tests and accountability. She’s serious about it. This wasn’t a casual decision. That’s someone who decided comfort was less important than impacting others.

I’m uncomfortable and figuring it out each day. But I can tell you that I’m not going back to the way I used to be.

You shouldn’t either.

See you next Sunday.

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I'm building something I'm really excited about. It's called The Authentic Purpose Experience. It’s for successful leaders who've done everything right on paper but privately feel like they're just going through the motions. If no amount of vacation seems to recharge you, that's not a stress problem. That's a purpose problem. And it's fixable. DM me “PURPOSE”, and I’ll share more.