The Trophies We Leave Behind
What are you chasing?
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I remember when my mom showed up at our house after I had been married for a few years. She had a dusty box with my Boy Scout uniform, medals, memorabilia, and the band plaque below. Look at all those achievements and, of course, the hair! Who wouldn’t want to celebrate my All-Region 1st Band award from 1986 today? As much as it pains me, we just couldn’t find a good spot on the wall for this beauty:
Our definition of success evolves over time, doesn’t it?
I’m approaching a milestone of my own next week. It will be 20 years since I joined my company. I barely remember the person I was back then. I remember walking into the office on the first day, excited to hit the ground running. I had grown stale in my prior role and was looking forward to a fresh start.
As I look back, the trophies I’ve tried to collect have changed, but the motivation is similar. I have most often compared myself to my peers and their achievements. In vain, I have tried to measure up to an elusive standard that always seems just out of reach. I’ve written more than once in this space about how that kind of scoreboard leaves you feeling empty.
So, what kinds of trophies am I chasing now? Don’t mistake what I’m about to say for false humility. It’s taken most of my life to accept that I don’t want trophies. While I’m sure I was happy to get that plaque at the band banquet, it means nothing to me today. What lights me up the most is adding value to others. I get more from helping others be successful than I ever did trying to shine a spotlight on myself.
So what about you? What trophies are you chasing at this stage in your life? It doesn’t matter if you’re 21 or 71. What advice would you give your younger self on this topic? Please share in the comments below.
Make it a great week!
I too have arrived at a time in my life where I find more joy in supporting others in achieving success than I do in celebrating or even recognizing my own. I often wonder if this is a symptom of a certain age or a manifestation of life experiences or even a simple result of drawing inward in reaction to the noise around us.
One “trophy” I have collected over the years of working as a psychotherapist is a 3x5 card folded into a small square with note written in pencil from a high school freshman coming out to me as gay and not wanting to talk about it just yet because their parents were very conservative and religious.