Their Limits are not Your Legacy

Don't let the dream killers grind you down

A colleague said something to me on one of my last days at work:

“Well, Tarek, if it doesn’t work out, you’ve got a great resume and can always go get a job somewhere else.”

I’d just told him I was leaving the company I’d been at for 21 years. Not for another company. Not for a bigger title or a better package. I was leaving to build something of my own. A leadership coaching practice. Something I wanted to do for a long time.

He wasn’t being mean. He was trying to be helpful. Except he wasn’t really helpful.

What he was really saying was: “This is weird, and you’re making a mistake.” He couldn’t wrap his head around someone walking away before the “approved” retirement age. The normal path is pretty straightforward: earn all you can, grind until you’re 65, then do what you want. I followed that playbook for most of my career.

When you start making moves that don’t fit the script, the dream killers show up. They’re at family dinners. They’re in the hallway at work. They come disguised as reasonable people with reasonable concerns.

“Come on, man, be realistic.”

“How are you going to pay your bills?”

“Maybe you should wait until...”

“I knew someone who tried coaching, and they had to get a new job.”

It’s not really about you. When you step outside the lines, you hold up a mirror to their lives. Your decision to go after something more reminds them of what they haven’t done. When someone says “be realistic,” they’re saying, “I was too scared to try, and I need you to stay here so I’ll feel better about my life.”

Their limits will not be your legacy unless you let them.

I’m not going to pretend that leaving was easy. Pivoting after two decades of doing one thing was uncomfortable. But it’s also the most alive I’ve felt in years. There’s a difference between comfort and living, and I spent too long confusing the two.

What about you? Is there something you’ve been sitting on because the people around you wouldn’t understand? A business idea, a career change, a completely different way of living? Have you talked yourself out of it because the dream killers made their case sound so responsible?

Here’s what I know. You don’t need everyone in your life to believe in your dream. But you need some people who will support you.

I call it upgrading your people. People who’ve built something, risked something, changed something. Not cheerleaders. People who will ask you hard questions and then tell you to keep going. I found mine in an online coaching community, and it changed my trajectory. These are the people who remind me that the discomfort I’m feeling isn’t a warning sign. It’s a sign that I’m growing.

You don’t have to blow up your life tomorrow. But you do have to stop letting other people’s fear set the boundaries for what you’re allowed to do.

The dream killers don’t show up for small dreams. If no one’s raising an eyebrow at what you’re doing, you’re probably not dreaming big enough.

What’s one step you can take this week toward the thing you’ve been putting off? One conversation. One phone call. One decision to stop waiting for permission. Maybe you just start by listening to a podcast that will open your mind to people who think much better than you.

You were made for more than grinding it out until someone tells you it’s OK to do something different.

I believe in you. See you next Sunday.

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I’m hosting a free masterclass on Tuesday, March 24th at 6 PM CST called “Why Your Success Feels Empty (and what to do about it).” I’d love to see you on the call! Here’s a link to sign up.

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