Comparison Trap
The power to free yourself lies in your actions not your thoughts
Have you ever felt like you’re behind other people? Maybe they appear to be more confident, accomplished, and overall better at things you want to be good at. Guess what. You are not behind. Yours is a story that’s unique to you. It’s not a race against others. If it was a race, how would one objectively determine the winner anyway? Money, cars, homes, fitness level, good looks? I can't win on any of those - certainly not money. Steve Jobs built Apple - an amazing company that changed the world - yet he died of pancreatic cancer at 56 and left all of it behind. His accomplishments on earth were significant but to my knowledge, there was not a trailer hitch on the hearse carrying his body to its final resting place.
Hey thanks, Tarek, for being so morbid! Ok, let’s get practical. Here are 4 simple ideas to move you out of the comparison trap:
Get your focus off of yourself. I heard Tony Robbins say recently on a podcast
“If you’re in your head, you’re dead.” Analysis paralysis happens when you overthink. You must take action.Do something for someone else TODAY. Send them a note or a voice text (I love voice texting! Try it and see what kind of responses you get back). Grab a coffee with a longtime friend and ask about their successes and where they are struggling. Go into it not wanting anything for yourself other than the chance to serve.
Replace thoughts with actions, even if they are small. This worked for me recently. I was obsessing about how unfit I was. Instead of dwelling on it, I worked out! More than once! Am I fit now? Not yet but I’m closer than I was by not starting at all. As James Clear explains so well in "Atomic Habits," when you string enough small actions together, you’ll see real progress over time. The main thing to do is start!
Read or listen to autobiographies. Learn what people have overcome to get where they are today. When we compare, we just see successes and not ugly failures. It will encourage you to think about how this can apply to your life. I'm listening to Viola Davis' autobiography1 now. What an amazing story (more to come in later weeks).
Growing yourself changes your perspective and puts you in a better position to serve others. Why does serving others matter and what does it have to do with comparison? When I intentionally take the focus off of myself and instead work on adding value to others, I receive much more than I give. It's almost an unfair trade!
Growing yourself changes your perspective and puts you in a better position to serve others.
Get off the comparison treadmill. There is no winner. Who can you send a voice text to right now? I'd love to hear how it changed your week for the better. Send me a note or comment below.
Great thoughts… and actions.
You might like Outlive by Peter Attia.