How many real friends do you have?
People win over stuff. Every time.
We make a living by what we get. We make a life by what we give -Dave Toygen
We just got home from a wonderful trip to see family over Thanksgiving. We stopped to get Sadie and Charlie from the dog-sitter on the way home. Our 1-year-old rescue, Charlie, was so excited to see me that he made himself “known” all over my nice down jacket! Not the best welcome home I’ve received for sure! It reminded me of when I proudly purchased that Patagonia jacket a few years ago.
The thrill of a new purchase usually goes away after the first time I wear it. A new car feeling might last slightly longer. When the newness fades, we find ourselves wanting the next thing that will help us feel something. Anything. Maybe for you, it’s not clothes or cars but something else. Maybe it’s the next rung at your company. Maybe it’s an extra level of financial security that will finally allow you to “arrive” at your destination. If you’re 80-year-old Mick Jagger, maybe it’s a craving for the roar of the crowd one more time that causes you to let the AARP sponsor your tour!1 Fill in the blank for yourself.
I have an idea for you today. It’s simple really. It’s friends. Real friends. Friends who aren’t impressed by you and can call you out when you get full of yourself. Friends who love you for WHO you are, not because of what you do or what you possess. They know all your warts and they love you anyway. I don’t say this in judgment. Perhaps like me, you’ve gotten off track at times and have chased other things. It could be that you prioritized your own success or comfort and put everyone else on the back burner. Perhaps you’re in need of a course correction.
No matter where you are, it’s never too late to turn the ship around. If maintaining real friendships is currently around 18th on your list, here are three practical ideas for you to turn things around:
Be a friend. Go through your phone contact list and set up coffee or lunch with 3 people you haven’t seen in a while. Book it in your calendar.
Make it about them. When you get together, ask them questions and listen to their answers. Ask the 2nd and 3rd follow-up questions. Learn about their successes and struggles. Ask how you can support them.
Send a voice text to one person.2 Do it every day. No, not the same person, that would be weird! There is some magic to hearing someone’s voice that says, “Hey you were on my mind and I want you to have an excellent day!” I love doing this for people and often hear “You don’t know how much I needed to hear that today!”
I’ve never met anyone who said more stuff solved the problem. Get your focus out of your own head and onto others. Even the most outwardly successful people are fighting a battle you know nothing about. When you intentionally become a great friend to others, both lives change for the better.
Be a friend. Serve people. People win over stuff. Every time.
I loved this, and while I'm terrified of leaving a voice text on anyone's phone, I'm going to try it! Thanks for giving me the courage to do something I'm afraid to do :)