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"Life is never made unbearable by circumstances, but only by lack of meaning and purpose"
- Viktor Frankl
Sometimes, life has a way of shaking us awake. I recently learned about Paul Kalanithi1, a brilliant neurosurgeon who, at 36, faced terminal cancer just as he was completing his decade of training. What strikes me most isn't just the tragedy of his story but how he transformed his devastating diagnosis into a profound exploration of what makes life meaningful.
The Illusion of Someday
Paul's story hits close to home for me because it was a neurosurgeon who saved my life in 2018 and made it possible for me to be at my daughter’s wedding last year.
Like many of us, Paul had spent years postponing certain aspects of life, thinking there would always be time later. He was busy building an impressive career - Stanford medical school, Yale neurosurgery residency - constantly pushing toward that next achievement. Sound familiar? I recognize this pattern in myself and many others: the belief that meaning and fulfillment will somehow arrive after we reach the next milestone.
Finding Meaning in the Now
What deeply touches me about Paul's journey is how he responded to his diagnosis. Instead of retreating into bitterness, he leaned into what mattered most. He wrote, continued treating patients, and he and his wife decided to have a child—choosing to create life even in the face of death. He found that meaning wasn't waiting for some future achievement but fully embracing the present moment, however difficult.
Consider these profound shifts in perspective:
Purpose can be found in any circumstance, especially the most challenging ones
Sometimes, our most extraordinary contributions come from our deepest struggles
Meaning often reveals itself when we stop postponing life
Your Wake-Up Call
While most of us won't face Paul's exact circumstances, his story invites us to ask: Why wait for a wake-up call? What if we chose to live with intention now? Perhaps you're feeling stuck in a comfortable but unfulfilling routine or achieving goals that no longer resonate with your heart.
Try these ideas for living with a greater purpose:
Write a letter to yourself about what truly matters to you2
Identify one area where you've been postponing joy or meaning
Take action this week to bring more authenticity into your daily life
Ask yourself: "If not now, when?"
Before his death, Paul wrote a book called "When Breath Becomes Air,"3 transforming his personal journey into a gift for others. His words remind us that meaning isn't something we find - it's something we create, often in unexpected circumstances. The question isn't whether your life has a purpose; it's whether you're brave enough to embrace it now.
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I was not thinking about money when I was 24 hours away from brain surgery.
Tarek...I may have told you about this before. I read Paul's book too. In some ways it reminded me of what happened to myself. I waited until I was 51 before starting college. I needed a Master's degree in order to pursue my chosen career. The summer after my four years of undergrad work, I was dx with a "terminal" brain tumor. I so strongly believed that becoming a psychotherapist was my one true purpose that I got a second opinion, had brain surgery two states away, and while lying in bed recovering I got my master's online. I couldn't even walk and my vision was so double that prism lenses didn't help. I graduated, pushed myself through internships and two years of working, and built a thriving practice. Three years later the tumor returned and I had to have the surgery all over again. I was devastated!! What happened to my one true purpose? I eventually went back to very part time work (from home) but it took three more years to process the meaning and purpose of it all. Finally, I realized that meaning and purpose didn't have to be static. These days finds me painting, reading, cooking, enjoying nature, and growing older. But I find my meaning and purpose in encouraging others and in loving my family. I may re-read Paul's book too. Thank you Tarek.
I'm always touched by those kinds of tragic stories because it makes me realize how fast life can go by and how much I still want to do.
I'm glad I took the chance to stop postponing my life 8 years ago, and now I'm here writing about my lessons learned so people wake up even earlier.
Now, I enjoy the present even though it's not the life I dream of yet.
Gratitude for what we have is all we have in this moment to be happy.
Thank you Tarek for sharing his story and reminding me of a big life lesson!