The Only Race That Matters

Change the rules and win back your life

Listen here.

Southwest Jr. High was not great for me. You probably get it. I can still see myself on that track during PE—tall, clumsy, and dead last at running. Coach Matthews made it worse. He coached football but got stuck teaching PE, and he didn't hide his contempt for bandies. I was decent at the trombone, but my running could be described in one word: UGLY.

While others had what it took to impress coaches and win at sports, I felt left behind. What was I good at anyway? What was an awkward teenager to do?

The truth is, I wasn't comfortable being me. I felt like I couldn't meet some impossible standard that others set for me. Unfortunately, this became my blueprint for life—constantly comparing myself to others. Their wins, their stuff, their cars, and their level of workplace respect. I was running in a race I was never meant to be in.

The Wake-Up Call

Comparing yourself to others is human. We all do it. But here's what years of this taught me: when you're constantly measuring yourself against others, you're not just losing the race—you're running in the wrong direction entirely.

It took a near-death experience in 2018¹ to shake me out of this penalizing mindset. During the weeks of recovery following surgery, I started doing something I'd forgotten how to do—just being still. As I spent time in prayer, I was struck by the details around me — the singing birds, squirrels scampering about, and the beautiful sunrises and sunsets. My wonderful wife never left my side (trombone players do eventually win!). I realized that I was so small compared to the world God created. I also learned that my story mattered. The question began to shift from "How do I measure up?" to "Who am I supposed to help?"

The Ruler That Actually Matters

I have a question for you. On a scale of 1 to 5, how comfortable are you being you? Be honest. I’m not talking about who your parents wanted you to be, how your company expects you to perform, or how many people follow your TikTok feed.

How long have you spent seeking approval from people who were never meant to give it to you? What if you could embrace being exactly who you are? What if you didn't wake up feeling like you're somehow behind and can’t catch up?

Three Ideas That Can Change Everything

The good news is that you can change. It starts with changing the questions you ask yourself. Shifting your mindset takes effort. I talk a lot about journaling. Why? Because it helps get your thoughts out of your head and process them. Here are 3 journaling ideas you can start using today:

1. Awareness: What are the thoughts rolling around in your head as the alarm clock goes off? Do those thoughts leave you feeling beaten down or uplifted? Write them down and ask yourself what is true and what is a lie.

2. Intention: You do not have to react to your thoughts. As Viktor Frankl said, between a stimulus and a response lies our choice. Write down positive ways you can add value to others today. Focus on even the smallest positive if necessary. You actually get to choose your attitude, rather than just reacting to life.

3. Fear or faith: Where are you operating out of fear instead of faith?
   Faith that…
   …you were created to make an impact on this world
   …you were born to do something great
   …there are people that only you can help
   …things are working out in your favor
   The hard truth is that we find exactly what we look for, and what we focus on expands. What could you focus on today that would change the trajectory of your day and, repeated enough times, your life?

The Race You Were Meant To Run

Friedrich Nietzsche has a quote that suggests he understood the concept of living with intention. He said, "He who has a why to live can bear almost any how.”

The freckle-faced, awkward trombone player? He was never supposed to be the fastest runner in PE class. He was never supposed to win the praise of Coach Matthews. He was supposed to discover the race that only he was meant to run. A race in which being different isn't a disadvantage, but rather the entire point.

I want this week to be different for you. I want you to wake up and fill yourself with hope, as you actively fight those wrong thoughts and build a bright future for yourself.

That ruler you've been using to measure your life against others?

Throw it away.

It’s your time.

I'm cheering for you.

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1. My story