The Power of a Compliment
Change the world one person at a time.
“Too often, we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word,
a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring,
all of which have the potential to turn a life around.”
-Leo Buscaglia
“Hey, good job on that presentation.”
A colleague and I had labored for weeks on a presentation we gave to our leadership. There were stress-filled days and nights putting it together. I was proud of the work we had done. I appreciated the comments, but it felt like cotton candy - a moment of sweetness followed by nothing. “Yeah, Tarek, you sound like you can’t stand on your own two feet and do your job without expecting anything in return.” There could be truth to that. However, what stuck in my mind wasn’t my neediness but the power of genuine compliments - both for the giver and the receiver.
It changes your brain when you compliment others. For the receiver, being paid a compliment lights up the same area of the brain that gets activated if someone hands you a stack of $100 bills!1 I’ve experienced this myself. I recently had the opportunity to give a talk to a group of engineers. I had 3 people come up to me afterward and share feedback on the specific inspiration they had received. I had worked hard on crafting the talk. Getting that feedback confirmed that my work had paid off. I was ready to go do it again! I didn’t even know it happened to be World Compliment Day when I gave my talk!2
Here are some tips on giving compliments:
Be specific. Go deeper into what “good job” means and verbalize it. In fact, banish “good job” altogether. If someone was especially helpful in a meeting, tell them what it was that they added to the conversation.
Be sincere. Look a person in the eyes and make sure they know you mean it. Or send them a voice text (I know it’s weird at first, but just try it).
Be intentional. Make it a goal to compliment 3 people each day. People don’t expect it and it will make their day.
Oh, and one last thing. When someone compliments you, simply say “thank you.” It’s often hard to see ourselves as worthy of receiving compliments, but we rob others of their joy when we don’t acknowledge their words.
When someone compliments you, simply say “thank you.”
Compliments are contagious and will have ripple effects on the world around us. YOU can change the course of someone’s day just by noticing and calling out their positive contributions. Share in the comments how sending and receiving compliments has made a difference in your life. Make it an impactful week!
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I have so much trouble with this! You are so good at distilling wisdom!