This is the last in a series sharing the top 10 leadership lessons I've learned over the past 30 years. Read the introduction here: Building a Bridge.
"Don't ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive." - Howard Thurman
Listen here:
My name is Tarek.
How do you even say that name? Tah-reek? Te-reck? (It’s actually pronounced Tah-reck for those who are curious.)
I grew up in a small town in the South. I actually knew someone named Jim Bob. I was blessed to have great friends: George, Brad, J. Max, Chris, Grant, Scott, Mike, and Chuck. There was exactly one person in my town with my name. My dad, a brilliant engineering professor and an Egyptian native, got married to my wonderful mother, who happened to be from a small town in Arkansas (that’s a great story for another time).
Let’s just say that I didn’t feel like I fit in for most of my life. I didn’t conform. I was made fun of. For much of my life, I was uncomfortable being me. In fact, my biggest dream was to wake up and just be like everyone else. I never appreciated the fact that I was different. It felt like a liability.
The Wakeup Call
In the first post of this series, I told you about my brain surgery in 2018.1
Lying in that hospital bed, I questioned everything I was trying to achieve with my life. I’d spent too much of my life trying to fit into someone else’s version of success. I thought the glass office, the title, and the recognition would validate me.
That experience marked the beginning of a long process of change. I got curious about what I was put on this earth to do. I stopped trying to fit someone else's mold and started asking, “What am I here to do?”
What do YOU want?
I have a question for you.
Whose version of success are you chasing?
What do you truly want from your life?
Trying to be someone else is like wearing shoes that rub against your heel. They’ll never feel right, and all you’ll get are blisters.
Being comfortable in your own skin means you care much less about what others think.
It means getting super curious about what you were put on this earth to do.
The Real Obstacle
The biggest barrier? We don't set our own standards for success. We strive to be like others who seem to have "made it."
We get stuck trying to copy their success instead of discovering who we really are. We fear what others will think if we don’t conform.
Start Here
Want to get more comfortable being you? Try this:
Clear the clutter from your head. Take early morning walks without your phone. Think about all that you have to be grateful for.
Get curious about what you're good at and what truly lights you up.
Ask: What's one small step toward building the life I want? What do I need to give up to create space for this?
The goal isn't to have all the answers. It's asking yourself better questions and making steady progress.
Permission Granted
That kid in the purple sock tie in the picture above? He never felt comfortable being himself. It took a near-death experience 32 years later to get his attention.
I don’t want you to have that kind of wake-up call.
I can tell you that I am now much more comfortable being me. Otherwise, you wouldn’t be reading this blog.
The same is possible for you. I hereby grant you permission to be you. Completely.
The ultimate leadership lesson is this: get better each day at being no one else but you.
I can tell you from experience it’s worth the effort. I’m cheering you on!
This was a great series. Thanks, "Tah-Reck" :)
Another great lesson Tarek. Thanks for sharing authentically. Have a great Sunday.