You're Not Too Late. You're Right On Time.
What purpose is. And how to get clear on yours.
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On a recent coaching certification call, I learned a definition that changed everything for me:
Purpose is giving the best of what you have to help others.
Not becoming famous. Not racking up a trophy case of accomplishments. Not impressing people who don’t really know you. Just giving the best of what you have to help others.
Simple. And completely at odds with how I measured success most of my life.
We look around and compare our calling to everyone else’s. Is my impact as big as theirs? Are my accomplishments as impressive? And when they’re not, we shrink ourselves. We make ourselves feel insignificant in the process.
Last week I wrote about being comfortable in my comfort. But here’s the thing I didn’t share: comfort isn’t just about personal security. It’s about comparison. And comparison doesn’t just rob us of joy. It robs us of obedience to the calling we’ve been given.1
Have you heard of Nick Vujicic? He was born without arms or legs. By all worldly measures, he had every reason to see himself as limited. Instead, his limitation became his platform. Today, he speaks to millions of people about hope and purpose. Not in spite of what he lacked, but BECAUSE of it. His “disadvantage” was the very thing that gave him something to say. And he’s spent his life sharing that message to help others.
What if the same is true for you? What if the thing you think disqualifies you is actually the foundation for your purpose?
I believe everyone was born to do something great with their life. Not “great” by TikTok standards. Great, as in giving the best of what you have to help others.
But here’s the problem. Most of us never get curious about it. We’re too busy comparing our chapter 3 to someone else’s chapter 30. We see people doing things that look easy and assume we missed our chance. Meanwhile, we stay stuck. Comfortable. Asleep.
I was asleep for most of my life. When I was a kid, I would ask my mom to tell me what I wanted.2 It took brain surgery to snap me out of it. I’ll share more about the entire journey I’ve been on next week. But here’s what it taught me: when your plan gets blown up, you start asking different questions.
I stopped asking “How do I gather more trophies?” and started asking “What am I actually here for?”
I leaned into the bedrock of my life: my faith. I also started listening to voices who see possibilities, not limitations. John Maxwell. Ed Mylett. Brendon Burchard. Mel Robbins. People who challenged the way I thought about what’s possible. I basically borrowed their beliefs until they became mine. Eventually, I took it a step further and invested my own money in coaches who could see in me what I couldn’t see in myself. That changed everything.
Wayne Dyer said it this way:
“When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.”
That’s been true for me. And it can be true for you.
So where do you start?
Here’s a simple framework for getting curious about your purpose:
1. Interrupt the pattern. You don’t need your life to blow up to wake up. But you do need space. Fifteen minutes of silence before your day starts. A walk without your phone. Something that breaks the autopilot long enough for a new thought to get through.
2. Borrow belief. Find guides whose thinking challenges yours. They don’t have to be people you’ll ever meet. A book. A podcast. Someone who looks at life differently than you do. Let their words rewire how you see what’s possible. If you don’t know where to start, I have a few podcasts that were gamechangers for me.
3. Ask a bigger question. Stop asking “What do I want?” and start asking “Who am I supposed to help?” Purpose isn’t about you. It’s about giving the best of what you have to help others. When you flip that question, everything shifts.
I’m in my own season of transition right now. After 21 years at the same company, I’m stepping into something new. Those who have known me for a while know that I’m the ultimate “play it safe” guy. This move is entirely out of character. However, I feel so strongly that God is calling me to this that I can’t NOT do it. More on that next week.
For now, here’s what I want you to know: You were made to do something great with your life. Not someone else’s version of great. Yours.
Stop measuring your calling against theirs. Give this simple framework a try today and start to get curious about what you’re here to do.
Purpose is giving the best of what you have to help others. What’s that going to look like for you?
Today’s a great day to start thinking about it.
I’m excited to be speaking at a global leadership conference this coming Wednesday at 8:00 a.m. EST / 7:00 a.m. CST. This conference is free. I’ll be talking about the power of authentic leadership. Check out the QR code below to register!
Great word Tarek. Love the Wayne Dyer quote. I wonder how many people never even think about their purpose.
Tarek...this is all so right. I used to think that I was supposed to do BIG things for God. It was the only thing that made sense out of the way I had suffered. I thought I was supposed to talk to huge audiences about how I got healed from my pain. That, I thought, was my purpose...the purpose of my suffering. Then I had more pain...like you, brain surgeries. I eventually became disabled, and my world shrank. I became unable to drive, and moved to a very rural area miles away from town (and people), and was forced to rethink my personal purpose. I realized that my ultimate purpose was to love God, others (and myself). It's something I do each day, even if I'm alone. I have also read the authors you mentioned...and even took Brendon Burchard's big online course! Good stuff...also shifted my mind and thoughts.