Escaping The Cage
A framework for people who want more than "getting by"
Listen here.
“Despite all my rage, I am still just a rat in a cage.”1
I was on a coaching call this week with a people leader. He had a good job. Good paycheck. Nice house. Young kids. Nice vacations every year.
He should be feeling on top of the world.
Instead, he told me he feels like a corporate robot
“I’m just going through the motions. I have moments where life feels good for a few days, and then I fall back into a rut again.”
He’d made a career move not long ago for better pay and more opportunities. But somewhere along the way, something else happened. His world got smaller. His swim lane at work narrowed to the point where he couldn’t make any real impact. Just when he’d get a head of steam, there would be a leadership change. Any momentum he built had to restart from zero.
When I asked him what true freedom would feel like, he didn’t hesitate:
“It would be like I’m living my life for the first time.”
He didn't use the word, but I knew exactly what he meant.
He's been living in a cage.
The Caged Life
Brendon Burchard talks about what happens when we stop directing our own story. We become passengers. We react to whatever walks into the scene rather than deciding which scene we should be in. The email inbox directs us. The news cycle directs us. Everyone else's priorities direct us.
But the truth is, you’re not supposed to be a character reacting to the script someone else wrote.
You’re supposed to be the director.
My friend isn’t lazy at all. He’s not ungrateful. He’s stuck in a cage he didn’t realize he built. More money. More comfort. More reasons to stay put. And now the cage is his home.
Are You CAGED?
I’ve started using a simple framework to help people see where they really are. Let’s take a look:
C – Compulsive distraction. You’re doomscrolling instead of thinking. Reacting instead of directing. Your attention belongs to everyone but you.
A – Aimless. You have no clear target in your life. You’re drifting through days, weeks, months, and even years without stopping to think of where you’re going.
G – Ground down. Fatigue is your baseline. Running on fumes is normal.
E – Empty. Hope feels non-existent. You can’t stop saying “it is what it is.”
D – Detached. Your performance is inconsistent. You’re in, then out. You’re up, then you’re down. You can’t catch any momentum.
If three or more of these hit home, you’re not crazy. You’re caged. I’ve been there too.
What Opens Up When You Get Out?
My friend craves connection with people in a similar struggle. People who want more than just getting by. He said something on our call that stuck with me:
“It feels so good when you’re forced to get outside of your own comfort.”
He’s right.
What if you started directing again? What if the thing you’ve been putting off, the purpose you’ve given up on, the version of you that got buried under obligations, preset swim lanes, and “realistic” expectations... what if that’s still there, waiting?
You weren't born to be a robot.
A Step Forward
I’m putting together a new program with a small private group. It’s for people who are done going through the motions and ready to figure out what they were actually made for.
In this Authentic Purpose cohort, we’ll work together on uncovering the four core elements of your purpose:
Natural Advantage - the role you tend to play in life and at work
Acquired Skills - skills you acquired through life, work, and education
Pull-passion - the types of problems that you’re drawn to solve
Origin strength - how you typically overcome hard things
You don’t have to have your purpose all figured out. You just have to be willing to start.
👉If you are interested in learning more, reply with “PURPOSE” and I’ll share the details.
(Early Bird seats get extras - they are almost sold out)
See you again next Sunday.
If you enjoyed this post, the best compliment I could receive would be for you to share it with someone else. Thank you.
“Bullet With Butterfly Wings” - The Smashing Pumpkins
This goes along with some Frankl I've been reading! He viewed depression & anxiety as "Sunday neurosis, that kind of depression which afflicts people who become aware of the lack of content in their lives...".
Have to have meaning in your life and be living it out to not be caged!
Good stuff Tarek.