Lessons Learned at a 4-Way Stop
Every person you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about
When angry, count to ten before you speak. If very angry, count to one hundred.
—Thomas Jefferson
A couple of Sundays ago, I was going for a long walk and came to a four-way stop. There was a line of traffic. As I started to walk, a man in a beat-up older model truck made a rolling stop and punched the gas, causing me to jump back to the curb. He yelled something to the effect of “Hey, Dude, what the (*&%$*)(*** & %* & %* % &!!!!”
I felt the anger rise in my chest! I suppressed the impulse to throw my water bottle at his truck. I stared him down as he sped off. Later, after calming down, I thought more about that event. Yes, he should have stopped and not tried to run me over. No, he shouldn’t have called me names. But…what was going on in his life that day? Did he lose a spouse? A job? Was he estranged from his kids? Did his house get repossessed?
I am quick to judge others’ motives and make assumptions when I don’t know the whole story.
Isn’t this true of today’s world? With this contentious election season going on, what would change if we gave others the benefit of the doubt? An often repeated Bible verse says, “Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry.”1
Wow, I need to take that advice. We humans aren’t that different, by and large. Everyone reading this right now is fighting a battle others know nothing about. We all want to be loved and accepted. We want to be recognized for what we have to offer this world. We know we are made for more than living safe lives. There is a deep longing for purpose and meaning inside each of us.
What is one thing you and I could do this week to recognize someone’s humanness and show compassion to them? Turn the tables on your impulses and make this week count. Be a difference maker for someone else.
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One thing that helps me when irritated or even angry at strangers is to picture how I would feel about them if they were a member of my own family. I think about others in their lives who love and care about them...their parents....their spouse...their children. It softens my heart and helps keep me from "othering" other people.
I always assume 100% of us will be less than perfect on 100% of the drives we take. So I just expect mistakes and hope others are forgiving of me when I make one. This dude obviously did more than make a mistake, but he may have thought you were the offender.
We’re just as fast to point out others “mistakes” as we are to hope others give us grace when we make one.